TWIN 15: Two Elitist Cucks Edition

On this week’s show

Conservative snowflakes have a temper tantrum about a play they don’t understand.

We discuss the terrible attacks that have taken place over the last week.

The Last people in the world you would expect (Bill Maher and Ted Nugent) team up against political violence.

In the main segment

Foghorn Leghorn and a racist Keebler Elf’s love child, A.K.A. Jeff Sessions talked for hours before the Senate and managed to say nothing.

Trump is being investigated for obstruction of justice, but he isn’t, but he is.

And the GOP is still planning to kill as many of “the poors” as possible with their healthcare bill.

In the ABT

Benedict trips Kevin up with a question he had all weekend to think about.

The Grenfell fire has claimed as many as 79 lives.

The SPLC recognized hate group Family Research Council, will heretofore be known on this podcast as the Far Right Cockwombles.

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The Sermon:

I agree with Benedict, this show has been depressing so far, and trust me, there’s plenty of bad stuff coming, because the past week has not been good.  So I thought that today I’d lighten up things a bit and talk about something a bit more fun, cultural appropriation.

I know many of you just groaned and thought, oh god here comes another SJW rant about dreadlocks or taco trucks, but come on, I wouldn’t do that to you. I want to talk about the cultural appropriation of good music by backwards ass country music listening douchebags.

My parents are a bit older than average so I grew up listening to The Allman Brothers, Chicago, Springsteen and all the other great rockers of the 70s and 80s, later when I grew up I got heavily into country music (which I now deeply regret).  But even when I was listening to country music, which I cannot stand one second of now, as a musician I recognized that it was generally generic and devoid of talent.  Maybe some of you are country fans and think there’s some talent there, but I’ll put Statesboro Blues or Sunshine of your love up against any country music of the last 80 years and come out on top.  Country artists are more concerned with how many times they can say pickup truck or beer in a song than the actual talent of the band or any real message beyond the generic caveman nationalist instinct of their usual listeners.

So recognizing there wasn’t any talent in country music, but still wanting to maintain my persona as “Captain country” A.K.A. captain douchebag, I co-opted bands that were clearly not country.  Obviously the top of that list is Lynyrd Skynyrd, a band that is more blues-rock than anything else, and really just the poor man’s Allman brothers. A band that toured with The Who!! For Christ’s sake.

I see people doing this now, I know people who think that The Eagles are a country band, rather than a group of California hippies playing soft rock, who think that “from the south” means country, but the worst, the absolutely dumbest example of this that I can think of is Bruce Springsteen’s iconic hit, Born in the U.S.A.  The 4th of July is rapidly approaching and soon we’ll have a week of Bro’s in pickups blasting it as they drive down the street with their Walmart cowboy hats on and catcalling at women they don’t have the intelligence to even speak to.  Yes we will hear them screaming along to the chorus, and only the chorus, because if they knew the damn words, they wouldn’t like the song!!!!  Born in the U.S.A. is not a patriotic song about how great it is to be American, go listen to Lee Greenwood if you want that shit!! It is lamenting the plight of the working class and the horrors of the Vietnam war, but those ignorant pricks just love to scream U.S.A. at the top of their lungs.  These people (and I did this too) think that in order for something to be good, it must be country.  That’s not to say there aren’t genuine country folk in this country, but they dwindle by the day, and to be “country” today is to actively try to be like the songs on country radio stations.  These are the type of people who think Johnny Cash slow talking about the pale horse is somehow deep and meaningful.

I know this is a stupid issue, but culture is power.  Beautiful music with a message can make us feel emotions and connect with ideas.  Country songs provide a simple message and boring instrumentation to many who don’t care to look beyond the surface.  It’s a simple escape that allows you to imagine that your side is always right and them ignorant city slickers just ain’t got no brains after all that there college.  So to try to claim the musical genius of Duane Allman or Springsteen in those ranks is moronic.  I’ll suffer a lot of fools, but keep your damn hands of my music!! The cultural appropriation must stop!!!  Good music doesn’t belong to them, it belongs to us.  Donald Trump cannot play Queen at his rallies, because Freddie Mercury is the antithesis of everything Trump stands for.  Songs like Won’t Get Fooled Again and Born to Run belong to the real people, not to the wannabe cowboys who have no identity of their own.