If there’s one thing college teaches you, it’s the true limit of human exhaustion. Of course that’s mainly the student’s fault to begin with, after all, if you had done that 20 page paper a week early you wouldn’t be in this mess, but inside of every student beats the heart of a procrastinator. So maybe that’s why over the last few days I’ve been seeing things. My weekend really started on Friday night, after all, when I woke up at 7pm for the LSAT the next day, and of course after that I had a research article to finish by Sunday that kept me awake for the next 24 hours.
Between the absolute exhaustion and the ungodly amounts of caffeine, I slowly began to lose a grasp on reality, until I finally got to bed on Monday morning and was asleep before I even realized it. By the time I woke up on Monday, my head was still pounding, and my eyes were more blurry than usual. I began my morning routine as I always do, checking my phone to see what new clusterfuck the news was reporting and how many twitter retweets I got while I slept.
What I saw at first made me convinced that I must still be asleep, or that I was reading it wrong. I was conscious that I was still exhausted, and that my mind not be working right, but when I was able to focus enough, I figured out what was going on. The travel ban is back. The supreme court ruled today to allow the travel ban to be in place while the challenge proceeds through lower courts.
The problem that I am having now, a few hours later, is that I can’t make myself angry about it. I feel like I need some type of Viagra for anger, I’m not sure what that is, maybe steroids, but something to help me feel angry again. The problem isn’t my exhaustion, its not that I have a billion other things going on in my life. The problem is that all of us, are suffering from outrage fatigue.
It’s not the fog in my mind from lack of sleep that keeps me from being angry, it’s the fact that I’ve spent so much of this year absolutely furious at the damage being done to this country and the world, that my reserves of anger are running low. I think many of us improperly assumed that it wouldn’t be hard to stay angry during a Trump presidency. That all the terrible things he would do would sustain us, but the truth is, we need more than opposition to give us strength. I know many of you are as tired as me, and what we really need are some wins.
When the Obamacare repeal failed I was refueled completely, I topped of my tank, so to speak. The Virginia election, gave me a few weeks of gusto, and of course the Mooch’s swift in and out were worth more than just a bit of strength. The problem is that while these things were good, they weren’t true wins. We kept what we had by defeating the Obamacare repeal, but we didn’t do any more good than we had already done. In the Virginia elections we put some good people into state offices, but congress remains unchanged. And people being fired from Trump’s staff is good for a laugh, but they will just be replaced by people equally as awful.
What I am saying is that we need a win to refuel us all. We need to pass DACA, or pressure Republicans to fund the Children’s Health Insurance Program. We cannot be a purely oppositional party, we have to keep fighting for what is right, and we need to win.